I woke up this morning feeling like shit. “that’s weird,” I thought. “it can’t be a hangover. I only drank two beers last night.” And then I realized, it wasn’t from drinking. It was the remaining pain left over from having to watch a few of the Superbowl spots last night.
First of all, I have a proposition. We need to create a P. Diddy sniper. Any time any copywriter, AE, Account Planner, Art Director, CD, client, traffic guy, or janitor mentions that P. Diddy should be used for an ad, they would slump over, having been shot on site. The surviving co-workers would then be overwhelmingly horrified, and always associate that feeling with an ad containing P. Diddy. Kind of like how I felt when I saw the Diet Pepsi ad in the first place.
And then we have Crispin.
Oh I get it, we’ll make a burger out of ladies. Heheheh. And then we’ll make them all jump on top of each other. Hehehe. Get it? And then Brooke Burke will top them all. Cause remember? You know, we did that thing with her and the king in the tabloids and that was so cool and gotta go, cause I gotta jerk off to myself in the mirror again. Oooo, I wonder what all those girls are doing under Brooke’s bun. Hehehe, hehehe, hehehe. I love myself.
At least Cripsin isn’t over promising. BK can guarantee that their fucking cheep nasty ass burgers are better than their advertising.
Then you watch the Sierra Mist ads. Haha. Funny. Seriously, no sarcasm. And then we have (insert super ad voice) the Gillet soooper 18 blade shaver with the Sooperest advertising ever. How do these campaigns come out of the same agency? Yeah, BBDO, why don’t you hire some MORE people. So that your agency becomes even more of an inconsistent clusterfuck. (And if you decide to, I’ll take a job, thanks. I need health insurance.)
Go daddy.com. Barf.
There were a few good ones, but if I talked about what didn’t suck, than this wouldn’t be my blog, now would it?
“Big words.” You’re thinking. Big words from someone whose freelance gig is almost up and will soon be looking for another job. Big words from the mouth that’s about to be kissing the asses’ of the same CDs who approved these ads. Big words from someone who might never get another job because a few CDs saw her blog and refused to hire her. Well, I guess if that happens, I could always find a new career.
I heard there’s an opening for a sniper.